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Lookie here, boys. I know that you just want to cuff a wad of snot out of your fuckstick, but you’ve got to stop using porn sites that bombard you with egregious, infuriating pop-ups. The only way to put these pieces of human garbage out of business is to quit frequenting them once and for all. We both know that you detest the shit out of pop-ups, but never enough to do anything about it. Have some self-respect, and give them all the royale finger. Fave this message to spread the reminder.… Đọc thêm

Guys, stop with the marriage proposals. Do you really think I’m here to find a husband?… Đọc thêm

OK, fuckers. Ask the Queen anything in the comments below, and I’ll do my best to answer. No rules, no safe words, no mercy.… Đọc thêm

Fellow weirdos, sickos, perverts, miscreants, social outcasts, degenerates, freaks, deviants, kooks, queers, dirtbags, and ass-lickers... Lend me your ears. I propose that we band together and start a deranged social movement of our own - beginning here and now, at this very moment. Please join me in establishing a new world order - a warped confederacy of the disaffected, the disenfranchised, and the fucked-up. A flagrant, unapologetic public declaration one million sc@talogically-fixated wackos strong. It’s high tim… Đọc thêm

Dear xHamster, Stop with the 100-friend-invite limit. It’s a pain in the ass, and it pisses every last one of us off. (Please comment if you’re just as sick of this nonsensical, arbitrary constraint as I am.) Thank you, The Truth… Đọc thêm

What’s it going to be? You can only lick the hell out of some pussy or asshole. Which one would you rather bury your face in, and why? Consider this your homework assignment.… Đọc thêm

FAQs Q. Are you a real woman, or just some perverted bastard living in his mother's basement, pretending to be a deeply-disturbed, filthy whore? A. I am a 100% real chick. If you cannot seem to process such a concept, suck my twat. Q. Is your avatar really you, or is it just some stupid stock photo that you stole from Google Images? A. All me, but no less stupid. Q. Why did you write a disparaging comment about my video? A. No disrespect intended. Well, actually, I meant whatever I said. Fuck you. Q. Are you dominant or submissive? Straight, gay… Đọc thêm

I'm disheartened to discover that quite a few of the super-filthy, taboo videos in my favorites have been forcibly removed by the thought police. It takes time to curate this stupid shit, motherfuckers. Don't mess with progress. If you want puritanical content, go to church.… Đọc thêm